At NetPlates, we're on a permanent mission to make the road less boring.
And if you live anywhere near the NetPlates office, you'll know we're making fast progress. In our immediate vicinity, you never have to look far before a slick private registration rocks into view. Yes, we sit at a demonstrable epicentre of private number plates, personalised to the hilt and raring to entertain the good public as they pass through.
This isn't just a tale, by the way. It's absolutely true that the incidence of quality private number plates rises quite sharply as one nears our little corner of the West Midlands. In fact it's sometimes near impossible to get down our drive without a feast of bespoke-beplated vehicles jostling for space.
Not that any of this is surprising. NetPlates tracks down those desirable private registrations, offers them for mega-attractive prices, and then, aside from the mandatory DVLA fee, handles the full transfer process free of charge. We service a full range of requirements, from the chepaest of the cheap, to super select. It's no wonder that the Netplates office resides in a personalised registration hotspot.
But being the empathic souls we are, we think it's time to spare a thought for those areas of the UK that don't yet have such a rich variety of private number plates to brighten up local life. How could we show our sympathy for people with nondescript plates? We felt it was our duty to come up with an answer.
So, for a period of four full minutes and seventeen seconds, the entire combined brainpower of the NetPlates staff focused its pretty considerable thought-processing power on this exact problem. And sure enough, the office genius, who has opted to remain nameless for reasons of modesty and pizza-distraction, came up with a solution.
PICK A CARD, ANY CARD, AS LONG AS IT'S A "SORRY YOUR NUMBER PLATE IS BORING" CARD
As a society, we have cards for all occasions, and many of them incorporate the word "sorry". "Sorry you're leaving". "Sorry, please forgive me". "Sorry your horse had a bad hair day". "Sorry Mom", "Sorry Dad", "Sorry Sis", "Sorry Bro"... "Sorry I reported your mid life crisis as spam". "Sorry I insulted your gerbil" (unconfirmed but we believe it exists). Or just plain old "Sorry". Lots and lots of "sorry" cards.
So why not, thought our office genius, start a campaign to introduce the much needed "Sorry your number plate is boring" card to that growing list of options? I mean, it's only right that when you're driving MAR10N, and you pull up next to BX57 XGP, you have a proper and easily accessible means to express your sympathy and support.
But only if sympathy and support appears to be required, of course. I mean, handing out cards without any indication of necessity might come across as a trifle smug, or even upsetting. So whilst we would suggest always carrying a card - perhaps even a small stock of them - we would also suggest looking for signals before handing one out. For example...
- Did the occupant of a car with yawnsome number plates draw up alongside you, get out, take one look at your personalised registration and burst into floods of tears?
- Did the occupant of a car with yawnsome number plates draw up alongside you, get out, take one look at your personalised registration, collapse to the ground and repeatedly bang the pavement with both hands?
- Did the occupant of a car with yawnsome number plates draw up alongside you, get out, take one look at your personalised registration, and jump up and down on the spot with their arms in the air like a cartoon character who's just had his hat stolen by an evil pigeon?
These would appear to be appropriate circumstances for the giving of a Sorry Your Number Plates Are Boring" card. In other circumstances, it might be wise to exercise restraint.
Unfortunately, we won't actually be manufacturing the cards. We have a pretty full timetable sourcing fantastic number plates and assisting in private sales. But there's bound to be a card manufacturer who would be happy to oblige if they believed there were a healthy market for such a product. And when the card shops are brimming with Sorry Your Number Plates Are Boring cards, remember who had the idea...
